Anxiety & Self Esteem

counselling and therapy for anxiety in toronto

Looking for therapy or counselling for anxiety, social phobia or panic attacks in Toronto?

You may not know what causes you to feel anxious, experience panic attacks or social anxiety. And this can leave you feeling powerless and overwhelmed. Your mind races. You can't concentrate. You worry endlessly and freeze or avoid events and people.

counselling and therapy for low self-esteem

Looking for low self-esteem counselling or for a self-esteem therapist in Toronto?

If you grew up in a family, community or society where your feelings, needs and opinions were not valued, you may have understandably developed low self-esteem. In this society, we are valued in terms of credentials, skin colour, income etc. - in terms of our ability to produce and to consume. You may have received or taken messages that now negatively influence your core beliefs, self-talk and ways of interacting with others.

How you feel about yourself - whether you respect yourself - influences the quality of your life, your capacity to make important decisions, succeed at work and in relationships. Self-awareness, self-acceptance and positive self-regard are critical to your well-being.

If you do not like yourself, you will not assert yourself, make requests or healthy decisions, or even follow your dreams. Instead, to avoid confrontation and to please or impress, you may defer to what others want. People who have a low self-esteem tend to stay in relationships and jobs that reflect and reinforce their low self-worth.

So here's the crux of it: Self-esteem can be intrinsic or extrinsic. If you were loved unconditionally growing up, you likely feel accepting of yourself as you are - imperfections and all. That is, you love yourself regardless of the ways others behave and regardless of your failures. Unlike someone with extrinsic self-esteem, you do not need the approval or praise of authority figures to feel good about yourself. Neither do you need external measures of success - such as a fancy job titile, high grades, a model's body etc..

In my practice, I help clients strengthen their intrinsic self-worth. Perhaps you grew up in a dysfunctional family and depend on external forms of validation to feel good about yourself. Would you like to work on feeling more at ease with who you are? If so, please get in touch with me. I would love to work with you.

anxiety counselling and low self-esteem therapy

Anxiety counselling and psychotherapy for self-esteem can make a difference.

With your collaboration, I can help you to:

• generate strategies to relieve and manage your symptoms
• explore the roots of your anxiety (trauma, low self-esteem, fear of failure, people-pleasing, perfectionism)

• resolve unfinished "emotional business"
• gain insight into yourself and others
• identify and deal with your triggers
• figure out what support might be helpful
• explore your true feelings, wants and needs
• find ways to express your feelings and get your needs met
• learn how to be assertive, set boundaries, solve problems and make decisions
• adjust ways of thinking that contribute to nervousness and low self-esteem
• increase your tolerance of difficult feelings (uncertainty, the unknown)
• steadily gain life skills and build confidence
• get back to doing things that are important to you
• gradually overcome shyness, social anxiety or social phobia

psychotherapy and counselling for low self-esteem

You build confidence and increase self-esteem when you:

• cultivate a meaningful sense of connection to yourself and others
• develop the skills and gain the support needed to act on your own behalf
• do something you value and your contributions are appreciated by others
• feel some degree of control or influence over your life
• are able to hold yourself in positive regard - flaws and all

Self-esteem therapy and self-esteem counselling can help build confidence.

Do you lack pride in yourself or a basic sense of self-confidence?
Are you missing joie de vivre - that spark for living?
I want to understand how you got to where you're at - how you see and experience yourself and your world.
Contact me. I would be happy to help you get on track and feel better about yourself.

Building self-esteem

Counselling and psychotherapy for low self-esteem.
Wondering how to build self esteem or boost your confidence?


Self-worth experts say:

• set achievable goals, with small steps and deadlines
• celebrate your efforts, knowledge gained and accomplishments
• regularly do things you enjoy and do well
• teach somebody something, help someone, volunteer

• list your skills, strengths, qualities and achievements
• list 5 things each day that went well yesterday
• choose 5 self-affirmations to recite daily
• compile and post a list of inspiring quotes
• put up photos of people you love and admire
• spend time with people who genuinely value you
• ask friends to list your special qualities
• regularly review a list of your accomplishments
• get physical: exercise, dance or clean
• pursue a new interest and get good at it
• speak back to the critical judge in your head
• give yourself the compassion and positive regard you give to others
• self-soothe: light candles, have a hot bath and your favourite tea

For a free phone consultation (up to 15 minutes) or to book a session

• contact me at lisa@lisamkelly.com
• please leave your number and best times to reach you

Get in touch. I would be happy to answer your questions or hear about your hopes for therapy.

help for anxiety and low self-esteem

The following are adaptations of comments made by clients:
Identifying details have been altered to protect confidentiality.
Any similarity to a particular client is purely coincidence.

generalized anxiety and panic attacks:

"For as long as I can remember, I have been a worrier. I always compare myself to other people and just can’t seem to relax. My nervousness comes and goes. When it’s been really bad, I’ve gotten panic attacks. My heart pounds and my thoughts race, I feel nauseous …… or like I might pass out. Worst of all, I worry other people notice. And that makes me even more anxious."

social anxiety and panic attacks:

"I dread every time the phone rings. I just sit there like a scared rabbit, ignoring it. Since I worry about people judging me, I only answer the phone if it’s family or a close friend. I hate the phone. If I have to make a call, it usually takes me days or weeks. And right before, I shake, feel sick and my hands sweat. Then, on the call, my voice goes all weird and shaky. I nearly have a panic attack just leaving a message for someone I don't know!"

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anxiety and low self-esteem:

"I couldn’t take another day of arguing. I couldn't trust JP and I had never been more anxious. JP wasn’t interested in couples counselling, so I booked a therapy session - just for me.

In therapy, I realized I was trying so hard to change JP's drinking, that I forgot about myself. I made connections between my life with JP and my childhood, where I was often left to deal with problems alone.

I began to see and accept that the only person I could change was me. So I focused more on what I needed and less on changing JP: Instead of going out with JP to make sure he didn’t drink too much, I started going out with my friends. If JP didn't come home at night, I turned my phone off and went to bed. Before, I would have called him or waited up for him.

Tired of being in a relationship with someone who wasn’t there for me, I moved out on my own. Two years later, I started dating TM. Our relationship was healthy and I was much happier."

generalized anxiety:

"I was always a people pleaser. I had terrible sleeping problems. There were times I'd wake up in the middle of the night. I usually imagined things were worse than they really were: When I got a stomach ache, I'd think it was an ulcer. At work, I’d stay late trying to do a perfect job. I found it hard to concentrate. I would read the same thing over and over and little sunk in. When my problems were at their worst, I'd call in sick at work and feel awful about it. Then I worried that I'd lose my job. My life was miserable and I felt depressed until I went for counselling."

stress and low self-esteem:

"I tried something I normally wouldn’t do. Therapy. And the reason was simple. Life was getting stressful. The job, my partner, the constant responsibilities and few breaks. I needed someone to listen to me - really listen. 

During our counselling sessions, I started to realize many things: It was clear my relationship with my partner wasn't going well. Problem is s/he had no clue.  At first I got angry, we fought, but nothing changed. Feeling depressed, I looked elsewhere. My affair became an agonizing secret. I would have left my partner, but I just couldn't leave our three-year-old who is the love of my life.

So far, talking has helped me realize what’s going on. And that has helped me face decisions I need to make. My therapist is a great listener. She is down-to-earth and made it easy for me to open up."

disclaimer:

Information on this website and web page is intended to be informational and should not be used to diagnose anyone or oneself. Further, the information provided does not constitute medical or psychological advice and should not be used as a substitute for therapeutic work with an appropriate mental health professional. If information is misinterpreted and/or consequences result from use of information on this website, this website/ its owner is not responsible. This website does not endorse any other website linked to it.

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